I think this is the first happy entry I am putting on this blog. It is the greatest news ever! FINALLY I am pregnant again. The clomid worked I guess. Honestly I know that God is on control and it was just my time. The saying, your joy cometh in the morning, has true meaning for me now. After going through years of this I finally feel joy. I know I still have a LONG way to go and something bad could happen again. But I have faith that this will work out. Yes, I am scared out of my mind, but it will be worth it if it turns out okay. Anything is better than getting a NO every month. I finally got a yes. I can't even begin to say how grateful I was. Month after month of devastation and all of a sudden that is over. I can think about babies and pregnancy and not feel sick inside. I am not jealous or bitter when I think of that now. I am happy and excited for myself. I am still in shock I think. This is going to be an interesting ride. But I truly can say I feel joy. It is a deeper joy now than before. I have a sweeter smile, and a happier heart. I am always excited when I find out I am pregnant but this defies all happiness I have ever felt in my life. It means so much more now. My friend Mary informed me that it was a year ago tomorrow that I miscarried. It has been a full year and here I am. This past Halloween was the 4th one I have been pregnant. I was pregnant when we moved into our home on Halloween, miscarried that baby, then pregnant with London, a year later my last miscarriage, and then here I am another year later... pregnant. Only this time I will get a baby! It is my turn!
This has been what every test has looked like for the past year.... Negative
I took this test but the line was too faint so I really couldn't tell. It looked just like the false positive test I took last month. I saw a line there but Stenson didn't. I think he really was trying to protect me from getting hurt again if it really wasn't true. So I wondered... am I pregnant or not?
I took a digital test so I wouldn't be confused by the lines. This answer was quite clear!
