My daughter's death date

It was 5 years ago today that you died in my arms.  When I think back to that specific moments when you stopped breathing, as I held your little face next to my ear so I could hear your last breath..... it reminds me of the most agonizing moment of my life.  I remember how final it felt.  Today, 5 years later I can still feel that immense pain as if it were happening all over again.... yet I have so much strength and healing in my heart as well.  Today, it is ok.  I know I have talked a lot about the pain that comes from losing a child, but today, I want everyone to know where I get my strength and how my heart was healed.  #1 -- through my Savior Jesus Christ.  I KNOW that He died for me and thanks to His great sacrifice I will get a chance to raise my daughter.  I KNOW she is in heaven watching over us and that she is a part of our lives in a very deep way, guiding us, to make good choices so we can return to her in heaven some day.  I KNOW that I will get to be with her for eternity and that there IS life after death.  I also received healing through #2-- friends and family.  I had so many sweet notes, texts, and even amazing people showing up at my door on your birthday.  We cried together and it bonded to many people in a very special way.  I have had so many comments from people saying that they were grateful for this blog because they got to see into my heart and understand death and grieving in a new way.  My husband was shocked to see how open I have been about my deepest emotions (I am not that great at sharing my feelings).  Yet this blog has been so freeing to just express everything I have felt.  The emotions are too much to hold in.  Through writing I have found peace.  So today, on London's death date.... I am really doing good!  I want everyone to know as I sit here with tears streaming down my face how good it feels to finally be able to say that!  I could not have done it by myself.  I acknowledge that I have MANY angels surrounding me daily.... here on earth and in heaven.  So my sweet London, I will say today not that I miss you, but I can't wait to see you again!  Love, Mommy