Hours ago I was driving to the hospital to have a baby girl. The births of my children have been the best days of my life. So walking in to that hospital I now see how blind I was. I had no idea my life was about to change in the way that it would.
"Okay Paige, Push.... You are doing great!" said the doctor. With Stenson by my side I squeeze his hand tightly. "Okay, it's a beautiful girl", the doctor says as he lays her across me. I see her for a few seconds and then she is taken over to the bed next to me to be cleaned and checked. I am crying with joy. I look over to Stenson and I see the color drain from his face. "This is taking too long, she is really struggling to breathe." I couldn't think about that then though. I still had to deliver the placenta. Plus, the doctor kept me focused on him which clearly showed how worried he really was. Suddenly doctor after doctor rush in the room. My mom and sister waiting in the hall begin to get very worried. I keep waiting and waiting as they "work" on my daughter. I want to scream "giver her back to me, let me hold her." The reality of the situation still has not gotten through to me. Maddy had the cord around her neck and they were scared but everything turned out fine. She will be fine. They realize they need to do more work on her to find out what is wrong. She is silent. Why won't she cry ou to me? Why won't she move? Why was she struggling to breathe?
At that moment I had no idea that things were really NOT FINE.
My problem is I don't remember much about who was there and I wish I knew how it affected them. If you were there and you have any memories please email them to me so I can add it to her journal.
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