The Worst News Ever
The next morning London still had not responded and they realized there was not much they could do with the facilities they had at that particular hospital. So they were going to send her to Utah Valley. This was when it truly hit me that this was not going to just work out. I had officially lost that great birth/ hospital fun time. My worst nightmare that I had never even thought to dream of was coming true. They were taking her away from me again. Problem was.... I couldn't leave with her. I still had some recovering to do myself. Seeing her in that little incubator and saying goodbye was devastating. Once she was gone I cried buckets of tears. Not just tears but sobs, literal moans, came out of my mouth as Stenson held me tight. Then I had to focus on getting out of there as quickly as possible so I could get to her.
I cannot begin to express how much I wanted to get out of that bed and go with her. I did not want to leave her side. Yet I was still in need of medical attention. She was MY baby, and they were taking her away from me. Yet I knew the Lord had a plan for her and that he would give me the strength to recover quickly so I could be with her. So later I left the hospital, without my baby, and empty arms. I still had not even held my own daughter.
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