June 29, 2007

This has been a hard couple of days. I feel like I have lost touch with who I really am. I feel like others around me are frustrated that I have not snapped back. I wish I could be happy, fun Paige again, but there is something in me that now is forever changed. I know I will be happy again, but it is hard when they expect that from you while you are hurting. I wish I could just be that person again. I am still trying to learn how to deal with this. I've never done this before. I don't know how to grieve. I don't know what is okay and what is not. I hate that this is affecting how others treat me, and in turn, how I am treating others. I keep reminding myself to serve. Stop thinking about myself and get to work. That sounds a lot easier than it is.