Monday, May 12, 2008
"Trying"
It is so difficult to be thinking about getting pregnant again. I can't even imagine how hard it will be to face doctors and hospitals again. The fear will never leave me. Yet here I am again, trying. Now I am wondering what is wrong. Why isn't this working. 9 months seems so far away and yet every month I have to make that even longer. I will be due in Decmeber, negative, try again. Okay I wil be due in January, negative, try again. Now it is May-- a year since London died and I am not even pregnant. I think that is what hurts so much about this. I don't even have the expectation of a baby yet. 9 months. It seems like an eternity, but what choice do I have? So, I keep trying.
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1 comment:
I know this is a really old entry for you...bit this is exactly where I am now. Miscarriage in november, miscarriage this past week, and every month when my period comes it send to just rock my while world of these false hopes and plans for my future. I am frustrated and tired of it all. Thank you for documenting your story, it helps me not feel so alone and puts it in perspective for me.
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