May 5, 2007

Stenson woke me that morning with quite a scare. The doctors had called and wanted us to come down to the hospital to discuss London with them. They said it would be best if we came as soon as possible and that there was no way of discussing this over the phone. Being a mother and hearing these words reminded me of those dreams you have where a cop shows up at your door to tell you a loved one is dead. It sent chills straight through me because there was this big part of me that couldn't get rid of the feeling that you weren't going to live. The doctor's kept telling us they were "VERY worried about you." This was their way of telling us that they didn't think you would live without actually saying it.
My dad came up that day and this moment has stood out in my mind very distinctly. I remembered hearing that he was there to see us so I went to the NICU doors to let him in. the second I saw him I ran into his arms and just hugged him tight and cried. It was like I was his little girl again and I needed his luvs to make it all better. I felt protected and comforted as he held me in his arms and kept telling me in was going to be okay. I just kept repeating to him, "Dad, I'm so glad you are here."